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NLP Hypnotherapy Gold Coast Australia. The first step in fixing a problem is acknowledgment that the problem exists. Whether or not the problem is with marijuana, cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, weight loss, binge eating, gambling, anger management, fear, anxiety, stress, confidence in public speaking, a relationship conflict or how to switch off at the end of the day and relax - the key factor is that it is not until the person acknowledges that they have a problem can they get themselves on the road to recovery. Acknowledgement is part of getting into rapport with your unconscious mind so that you can access and mobilise your inner resources and get yourself from the back seat into the drivers seat of your life. To start making rapid long lasting change, book a NLP Hypnotherapy session with Abby Eagle - Gold Coast Australia. Online Skype sessions are available.
By Abby Eagle (2018)
In this article I want to explore the power of acknowledgement and how you can use it to transform your life. So have you ever walked into a room and someone ignored you? How did it feel? Have you ever told someone about a personal problem but rather than listening to you they immediately gave you advice on what you should and shouldn’t do? How did it feel? Have you ever paid for an item in a shop and the shop keeper took your money without actually looking you in the face? How did it feel? Have you ever done something, like vacuumed the carpet or cleaned the house and your partner or parent did not say anything? How did it feel? So what was missing in all of these examples? Acknowledgement.
Now let’s reverse those examples. Have you ever ignored someone when they walked into a room? Have you ever immediately jumped in and started giving advice to someone when they told you about a personal problem? Have you ever completed a transaction with someone without looking them in the face? Have you ever failed to acknowledge someone who vacuumed the carpet or cleaned the house? How do you think the other person might have felt?
Does your doctor, naturopath, teacher, mother, father, brother, sister, colleague, friend, partner, employer etc., acknowledge you for the efforts that you have made or do they habitually mismatch, discount and give advice? Which feels better? To be ignored or to be acknowledged? So what does it take to acknowledge someone? Sometimes it might just be a look, a head nod or, "I hear what you are saying." – or “You did good”.
When we acknowledge someone we say in effect that you count. When we ignore someone we discount them – we devalue them. When you acknowledge your own efforts – you say that counts – and in doing so you build self esteem and self value. When you fail to acknowledge yourself you are discounting – you are saying what you did had little value. And if you apply it not just to the behaviour but to yourself then you are saying that you don’t count – that you have little value.
Hmmm? Interesting. So let’s look at how acknowledgement can be used to facilitate powerful change. In a NLP coaching session I usually start by asking what is the problem, if any and what do you want for yourself from this session? This is the NLP present state to desired outcome model.
The client usually starts by describing a problem with marijuana, cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, weight loss, binge eating, gambling, anger management, fear, anxiety, stress, confidence in public speaking, a relationship conflict or how to switch off at the end of the day and relax?
Now I could go into fix-it mode but to do that would not acknowledge them for who they are and for what efforts they may have made to fix the problem and move towards their desired outcome.
So what I do is listen. But when I listen I am not so much interested in the content but in mapping out the structure – the process of how they do the problem. So let’s say a client wants to stop drinking alcohol and stop gambling. As well as gathering some personal history I am listening for values, meta programs, personality type and temperament, negative emotions and frustrations. I don’t need a lot of information – just enough to map out the structure which means that I interrupt the client a lot but I let them know in advance that I will do so in the service of them.
In some cases the problem may be related to their personality type and the difficulty in getting into a flow state – a flow state being an optimal state of consciousness in which you perform at your best.
So then I show them the Wealth Dynamics Profile. This was created by Roger Hamilton and is one of the most useful personality types that I have come across. It uses only two dimensions - Intuition and Sensing – and Introversion and Extroversion and puts them at ninety degrees to each other. You draw a square and then you get eight personality types. The creator, mechanic, lord, accumulator, trader, deal maker, supporter and the star. It’s rough but it fits in well with NLP Meta Programs and most importantly it works.
So in this ten minute overview of personality type it is not unusual for the client to get an ah ha experience – an understanding arises that the presenting problem is related to having not acknowledged elements of their personality type – and the frustration in trying to work or live with someone who has a different personality type is part of the reason they have resorted to marijuana, cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, weight loss, binge eating, gambling, etc. And part of the reason they get anxious, fearful, angry and stressed is because they are in a situation not suited to their personality type. So with this acknowledgement comes an acceptance that they’re okay. And acceptance is a powerful frame of mind.
So the first step towards transformation comes with the acknowledgement that there is a problem. An understanding of personality type tends to bring in acceptance. With acceptance the client stops judging themselves so harshly. They relax a bit – and they find it easier to orient themselves to a possible future self – in which they work, live and play in an environment in which they flourish.
So on that note I am going to leave you with a task. For the next seven days – at every opportunity make an effort to acknowledge others and to acknowledge yourself – and just see what happens – and then come back and leave a comment in the comments box below.
To contact me please use the webform in the top right of this page.
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