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NLP Coaching and Hypnotherapy, Gold Coast. Neuro Linguistic Programming. Do your thoughts serve you? Pay attention to the thoughts that you have in mind. What questions, statements and commands are you giving yourself? What is the tonality of your internal dialogue? If you changed the tonality of your thoughts would that improve your sense of well being and help you get your outcomes?
By Abby Eagle (2016)
In this article I am going to show you how your thoughts can either work for or against you – and how you can transform your life using a simple yet powerful questioning technique.
Building a Framework for Positive Thinking
We start with our present state, the present situation, the problem. You need just enough information about the present state to give you an understanding of it but if you ask too many “why” questions like, “Why do you get anxious, why do you stress, why do you smoke, why are sales low this month?” – then you get a because, a because, a because – which tends to reinforce the problem.
So in NLP we shift our attention across to the desired outcome and we ask questions like:
1. What is the problem that needs to be addressed, if any, and what is the desired outcome?
2. What will the desired outcome specifically look like, sound like and feel like?
3. When do you want the outcome; where do you want the outcome; with whom do you want the outcome?
Then we get to the why. Why do you want the outcome? Why else do you want the outcome? So you elicit all the reasons why you might want the outcome. This helps build the motivation to take action.
And then we get into the how – questions like, “Do you know what to do?” So we have shifted our attention away from the present state to the desired outcome.
This brings us to the use of questions, statements and commands. You ask questions that are useful – then you make statements – and then you give yourself commands and tell yourself to go take action towards the desired outcome. Over arching all of that will be some higher frames of mind. Remember he who sets the frame controls the game.
The most important question is, “Do your thoughts serve you?” Let’s use the context of getting to sleep as an example.
Let’s say you are lying in bed ready to go to sleep but find yourself thinking about other things then step one is to bring awareness to the fact that you are thinking. Awareness is the key. Then we ask, “Is this thinking useful? Do these thoughts serve me right now? Should I lie awake thinking or should I go to sleep?” So you ask intelligent question that serve you. “Is this thinking a good use of my time right now? What should I be doing right now? What is going to be the consequences of thinking like this right now? Is that what I want? Why do I want to go to sleep and what are the benefits of a good nights sleep?”
The basic pattern is, “Do these thoughts serve me right now? If not, then what thoughts would serve me? What are the thoughts that I need to hold in mind such that I find myself drifting off to sleep? What is the thought such that if it should arise in the mind I would instantly fall into a deep sleep?” That is a powerful question.
And what is the thought, that if I held it in mind, I would instantly relax into a deep sleep, such that I would have a peaceful sleep, a restful sleep, a rejuvenating sleep, a healthful sleep? What is the thought that if it should arise in the mind I would instantly fall into a deep restful sleep?
Can you see how we are engineering a conversation with the unconscious mind such that you move away from the present state towards your desired outcome? You see, it is all about the questions. What are the questions that you need to keep in mind such that you create a peaceful state of mind, such that you create good health, prosperity, success in business, and love and harmony in your relationships?
What type of thoughts would serve you right now? Being thoughts, doing thoughts, loving thoughts, playful thoughts? What is the context? Is this context about being or doing? What thoughts would be useful?
And how do you direct your thoughts and dreams to create good health? To create your desired outcomes? The life that you desire? What thoughts do you need to support you towards self actualisation?
What are the thoughts that you need to hold in mind such that at the end of the day you say to yourself, “I had a great day. This was the best day of my life ever?” What are the thoughts that you need to hold in mind such that at the end of the week you look back and say to yourself, “I had a great week. I had the time of my life. It was time well spent.” What are the thoughts that you need to hold in mind such that at the end of the year you will say to yourself, “This has been the best year of my life, ever”. What are the thoughts that you need to hold in mind such that at the end of your life you say to yourself, This has been a life well worth having lived. I squeezed the juice from every moment. I accepted the challenges that life presented to me. I tapped into my inner resources. I set goals for myself and I took action such that I achieved results, such that I know at the deepest core of my being that I did the best that I possibly could.
In the evening and before going to sleep at night give suggestions to wake up the next morning feeling excited about the day. Give yourself something to look forwards to. Let it be a fantastic day, a million dollar day. Learn to look for the positive, the achievements, the successes, no matter how small they might be – because tomorrow will be a stepping stone towards evening greater successes.
So we ask, “Do these thoughts serve me right now? If not, then what thoughts would serve me? What are the thoughts that I need to hold in mind such that I find myself drifting off to sleep? What is the thought such that if it should arise in the mind I would instantly fall into a deep sleep?” You can apply this questioning technique throughout the day in just about every context.
The pattern is:
- “Do these thoughts serve me?”
- “Is this what I want to be thinking about?”
If not, then:
- “What thoughts would serve me right now?”
- “What are the thoughts that I need to hold in mind such that… such that… such that… because…” The because locks it in.
If you want to learn more about how to get from the back seat and into the drivers seat of your mind then keep on reading the articles on my website and watch the videos on my youtube channel. If you are looking for an NLP Coach then feel free to contact myself – Abby Eagle using the contact form - top left of this page.
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