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Example of self coaching using the NLP/NS Well Formed Outcome Questions...
HOW TO BUILD A NEW IDENTITY?
Know your talent, passion and purpose.
Usually I coach myself by talking through a procedure. Sometimes I just talk out loud while other times I talk into a recorder and listen to the conversation. Sometimes I will make notes. In this case, considering the magnitude of the desired outcome I decided to map it out on paper. The following notes demonstrate how I coached myself to build the identity of a Documentary Filmmaker. It uses tools and techniques from NLP and Neuro Semantics.
Wealth Dynamics Creator personality type. Introvert, quiet social life. Self employed. Background and skills in NLP, hypnotherapy, meditation and photography. Has the capability to produce quality documentary films but lacks resources, funding, business network, and film crew.
To have the identity of a Documentary Filmmaker. To present my self in such a manner that people in the film and television industry recognise the value in teaming up with me. To build a film crew and produce documentary films for the television networks
Q: What is the desired outcome?
A: To build the identity of a Filmmaker.
Q: What qualities and attributes do you need to demonstrate?
A: Postponing judgement and becoming more allowing, welcoming, inviting and embracing of how others think and act. Treating topics of conversation with sensitivity, keeping in mind that some people may react to the content.
Q: What meta programs would best suit the new identity?
A: Pessimism to optimism in context of checking emails and making phone calls. Not worrying about the comments that people make on Facebook - being more open to feedback - more welcoming and embracing of the opinions of others - and in doing so giving myself permission to express my opinion. More extroverted, more of a people person. A team leader and a team player.
Q: Who do you need to be to be a Filmmaker? Who do you need to be like? Do you have any role models?
A: I need to be like Stephen Spielberg in that when he started out he immersed himself in a film making environment and acted as-if he was already a film director. I need to be more extroverted, more personable, a people person, a team leader like Roger Hamilton. A presenter like Oprah Winfrey.
Q: What would the new you look like, sound like and feel like?
A: I would spend more time speaking with people. On the phone but most importantly face to face. I would be facilitating a panel interview with a studio audience. I would be directing a film crew. I have directed people on a film set before in a small way so I know what that looks like, sounds like and feels like.
I feel empowered and energised. The people I work with feel respected, validated, celebrated and empowered. There would be a film producer supervising people and cinematographers shooting footage. The guys in post production would edit the footage. The producer would sell the documentary to the television networks.
Q: What is the fastest way to build a crew and gain experience managing a team?
A: Promote myself and network through Linkedin and Meetup groups. Post outlines of the documentaries to my website. Facilitate a Meetup meeting. Take every opportunity to film a conversation until people start to recognise the value that I have to offer. Create valuable opportunities for others. Take every opportunity to pitch my ideas. Post films to youtube channel.
Q: Why do you want the identity of a Documentary Filmmaker?
A: Because I want to wake people up. I want to help people be more conscious in how they think and act.
- Because I enjoy film making.
- Because I like to inspire and motivate people to bring about positive change in the world.
- Because I want to popularise the NLP Meta Model. Because I enjoy motivating people to make a sincere inquiry into truth.
- Because I enjoy coaching people to access and mobilise both their inner resources and outer resources towards achieving what is important for them in life.
- Because I like getting into a conversation where the other person gets in their flow.
- Because I want to show people how to use the NLP Peace Mapping Model.
- Because I sincerely want to understand why people do what they do?
- Because I believe that each and everyone of us has a responsibility to help facilitate positive change in the world.
- Because it is something that I feel compelled to do.
Q: Why else do you want the new identity?
A: I do my best when I am trying to bring out the best in others. I do my best when working under pressure with a time constraint.
Q: What will the new identity mean to you?
A: It will be what I have been chasing for decades - which is a realisation and expression of my creative potential.
Q: When do you want the identity of a Documentary Filmmaker?
A: I need it today.
A: Where do you want the identity of a Documentary Filmmaker?
A: In the film and television industry in Australia, UK, USA and the rest of the world. Amongst the NLP and NS community world wide.
Q: Do you know how to build in the new identity? What techniques and procedures could you use? How could you learn from your role models?
A: I can use all of my NLP Coaching skills. I can use the Mind to Muscle Procedure to build in new understandings and muscle them into the body. The Mind Director to change negative thinking into positive thinking. Build in new frames of mind just by setting the intention.
Q: What attitudes and frames of mind do you need to hold?
A: I need an absolute sense of certainty that I will take on the identity of a Documentary Filmmaker - and that I will sell documentaries to the television networks.
Q: What actions do you need to take?
A: Just start filming.
- Film short videos to compliment articles on my website.
- Produce online courses at www.udemy.com
- Film a series of video testimonials for my NLP Hypnotherapy sessions.
- Film a series of client sessions.
- Film a series of conversations titled, "Why people do what they do".
- Build a film studio at my home office.
- Upload films to youtube.
- Meet up with people who have an interest in film making.
- Engage the support of key people to help me complete those projects.
- Just start on the Peace Mapping project by bringing a group of people to facilitate that.
Q: Who do you need to be, to do what is necessary, in order to build the new identity?
A: I need to be fit, healthy and strong in body. I need to be emotionally secure and sure within myself. I need to be mentally focussed on the task at hand. I need to focus on my self worth rather than on my wealth. I need to focus on answering the "who" question before I get onto the "when" and "how" questions. I just need to create the environment and the team will build itself.
Q: Do you know what to do to do the above?
A: The fit, healthy and strong bit is the challenge but I think that once I get into my flow that my health will improve.
Q: Who can you learn from?
A: I need to be like the Filmmakers, Stephen Spielberg and Kathryn Bigelow. Kathryn Bigelow produced Strange Days, The Hurt Locker, and Zero Dark Thirty. I can learn a lot from Roger Hamilton, and from Oprah Winfrey. can learn from my film maker friends and acquaintances. I can learn from every successful business person that I meet. I can learn from young people who find it so easy to work with the latest technology and take their projects to the market place.
Q: Who can you get to help you?
A: I have a small network of friends who can be relied upon to give me some support. I can get support from the NLP/NS community. I am learning how to find people on Linkedin and on www.meetup.com.
Q: Is the desired outcome to demonstrate the qualities and attributes of a Documentary Filmmaker compelling?
A: Very much so.
Q: Are you in alignment with the actions that you need to demonstrate? Cycle back through the steps checking for congruence.
Q: Is it self initiated and maintained, that is, can you take responsibility for taking appropriate action each and every day to build and maintain the new identity?
Q: Are you going to let anything stop you from being this new person? Are you willing to say goodbye to the old identity? Are you ready to make the decision to take on the new identity for the next phase of your life?
Q: Do you need to give yourself permission to take on the new identity?
A: I have done so.
Q: What will be the first action that you can take that will demonstrate that you have begun to embrace and demonstrate the new identity?
A: Published a video to youtube.
Q: How will you know when you have truly said "No" to the old identity? How will you truly know that you have said "Yes" to the new identity and welcomed it in? What will be your evidence procedure? A year from now, looking back towards now, what did you do that demonstrates you have taken on the new identity?
A: I have an income from selling courses on Udemy.com
This section outlines some of the procedures and activities that I set myself to build in the new identity. I began with the following frame of mind. "Put aside all excuses and just focus on bringing the new identity into the present."
1. What is the task?
2. How did I go about it?
3. What was the result?
This language pattern is quite limiting in that it presupposes that I have to demonstrate something before I can do, have or get what is really important for me. For example, once I have finished the first documentary film then I can build a film crew, then I can get funding for the next project, then I can sell a documentary to the television network.
Once I have done (A) then I can do (B)? The "then" acts as a pivot point. The achievement of B is contingent upon the completion of A. There is a complex equivalence - where A means B.
To simplify the structure we take a look at the use of "but". The word "but" negates what went before it in the sentence, for example. I want to build a film crew but I need to buy more camera gear before I can do so. That sentence structure negates taking action towards making contact with camera operators in the film industry. If we turn the sentence around we get, "I need to buy more camera gear but I want to build a film crew". We can then add on to this statement another section: "I need to buy more camera gear but I want to build a film crew because the crew may already have camera gear that I can use - we may be able to pool our resources - and each of us can do what we are best suited to do by our personality type and knowledge, skills and experience."
The next step is to ask questions like, "Where do I find people in the film and television industry? How do I make the initial contact? How do I best present myself?
I start by using Google. The best I can get with Google search is to find some forums. Then I try Youtube and Vimeo. I make some contacts but they are overseas. I work on Google + account but this still is not effective. Facebook is useless. Then I turn to my Linkedin account. This works quite well - I can search Linkedin for camera operators who live in my area. I introduce myself to ten people - from this I get a camera operator who would like to get together for a coffee but I postpone the meeting for two weeks - that is until today.
Now I need to phone the guy but something still holds me back. Thinking about it I get a lot of reasons which seem more like excuses. I have a number of important tasks to complete which take priority over making the phone call - and yet this has been a pattern in my life. The thought is there, "Once I finish the current list then I can phone the guy" - but the problem is that I keep adding to the list and I keep putting off making the phone call. The task is how to create a structure in my life such that I balance out the activities and take action on what needs to be done to build in the new identity.
I ask myself, "Do you want to produce documentary films?" - and I answer yes? I ask myself, "Are you going to let anything, and I mean anything get in the way of producing the documentaries?" At this I hesitate... and then ask myself, "So what do you need to do in order to meet with this guy? I look at my desk diary and swear. In this instance I am being motivated 'away-from', away-from what I might lose by not making the phone call. I scan my desk, looking at the tasks that I need to take care of, look across at the desk diary and make a decision to phone either this afternoon or tomorrow afternoon. I write it in the diary.
But that afternoon I am busy working on other tasks - and I realise there is a priority system. The other tasks are very important and need to get completed but it is not till the next morning that I get the structure. I have been asking myself, "what" questions. Like, "What do I need to do." - and that is where I get the problem pattern, "Once I complete this then I can do that". Part of the problem pattern is that I also ask, "how" questions. Like, "How am I going to do that" - and, "When am I going to do that?" Attempting to answer those questions keeps me busy.
The question that is missing is the "who" question. Building a new identity is about "Who do I need to be to complete the project?" And part of the solution is to ask, "Who can I get to help me? Who would know how to do this more efficiently than me? Who could best handle this task?" I have played with these questions for a couple of years but have always come back to the limiting question, "Once I complete A then I can do B". Now I am beginning to realise that the way to reprioritise my tasks is to hold the question, "Who do I need to talk to today? Who am I going to phone today? Who am I going to meet with today?" These are the types of question that a team leader would have in mind - and that is what I want. Rather than me shifting the 'box' I need to look for someone else to 'shift the box' - and isn't this what team leaders and managers do? They look for the person best suited for the job and they delegate duties. As a means to muscle this concept into the body I will use the Mind to Muscle Procedure right now.
What is the result? Later that day I made the phone call. No hesitation, no problem. And in addition there has been a significant improvement in my health since yesterday. Not sure if the improvement in health is related but it seems to be.
A problem with the personality shift is that now I am more personable and find myself engaging people in long conversations - which is not always productive. I am not working on tasks because I am talking to people. Introverts tend to have their mind on systems and things whereas extroverts tend to have their mind on people. Looking at the Wealth Dynamics square I have probably shifted a bit from the introversion side to the extroversion side. The way I got there was by changing an habitual question that I asked myself, "What do I need to do?" - to, "Who do I need to talk to?"
Image Wealth Dynamics Square
(Used with permission www.wealthdynamicscentral.com )
The Creator asks, "What can I make, what can I build, what can I do?" The Mechanic asks, "How does it work, how can I improve upon that, how can I build that?" The Lord asks, "How can I take what the Creator has built and the Mechanic has improved upon - how can I franchise it, how can I make money from that, how can I get leverage, how can I capitalise on that?" The Accumulator asks, "How can I gather up all the information on this topic, and when is the best time to act?" The Trader asks, "When is the best time to buy and sell - the surfer asks, "When is the best time to catch the wave?" - the martial artist asks, "When is the best time to strike?" Whereas the Accumulator gathers information the Dealmaker gathers business cards and brings people together. The Dealmaker asks, "Who can I bring together to make a deal and when is the best time to do that?" The Supporter asks, "Who can I lead, who can I coach, who can I direct?" The Star asks, "Who can I get to put me in the lime light?"
The 'who person' asks the 'who' question much differently to the 'what person'. And the 'who person' will ask the 'what' question much differently to the 'what person'. Each personality type has their foundational meta programs - or more simply put - frames of mind through which they perceive the world. The best that most people can do is to get an idea of how another personality type thinks. In the procedure that I used above I actually made a shift from a 'what person' to a 'who person'.
In a social context, the shy person may be asking, "What do I do? What do I say?" These are the questions that we ask of a 'doing' context. The questions that would be more useful in a social situation are, "Who do I talk to? Who can I engage in conversation?" In a social situation the primary question is 'who'. 'What', 'how', 'when' and 'where' are secondary questions questions that would suit a different context.
I remember hearing Roger Hamilton say that Warren Buffet, a WD Accumulator, went to Toastmasters not to gain the confidence to speak before an audience but to be able to just speak while his knees were shaking. In a social situation the Accumulator may be asking the wrong questions of themself and paying attention to the wrong data - using inappropriate frames of mind, meta programs and questions.
Likewise the reason why the WD Star, Supporter and Dealmaker may have difficulty with technical and manual tasks is because they are applying the wrong frames of mind. The answer is to bring an appropriate frame of mind to the context and the task at hand.
To recap this article,
1. Identify your talent - that is your personality type - the source of your genius.
2. Identify your passion.
3. Know your purpose, that is the big reason why you want to do what you.
4. Commit to talent, passion and purpose and get in the flow.
|The secret of high achievers|
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|Stop making excuses. No
"buts" about it.
|Learn NLP rapport skills|
|The power of acknowledgement|