|Abby Eagle's Diary
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|OBE's, meditation experiences. Entering into sleep with awareness. I have touched the face of God. Cosmic orgasms
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|Osho gives me Deeksha
|Osho and Buddha. You are God.
|No Internal Dialogue
|Going beyond the mind. Dropping beliefs
|The passage between lives
|Delving into pain. The brilliance of success. Sleep meditation.
|Guidelines for how to approach and experience the passage between lives.
|There is no one there
|The feeling that I am God. Being conscious in a dream. The river of consciousness.
|Past lives. Near death experiences. The mind is silent - what next?
|Awareness showers down
|Who stands to gain from creating conflict? Be willing to take a risk. War is a play.
|Heaven and hell.
|Why did Buddha attain to enlightenment?
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Abby Eagle's diary of spiritual experiences... Phone 07 5562 5718 or email me to book a free 20 minute telephone or Skype consultation to discuss anything related to NLP, Hypnotherapy and Meditation. Gold Coast, Robina Australia.
I was dreaming... inside the ground floor of a building. A metallic blue Pontiac Bonneville, from the 1950's 1960's era, glides towards me and then disappears off to the left. There is no driver in the vehicle. It is absolutely silent. Then another vehicle, same make and colour but a slightly different style. No driver... the vehicle glides by silently. And then a third vehicle, as before same make and colour but a slightly different style. No driver... it glides by silently. I then move off to the right down a tunnel.
Afterwards I was reminded of Alfred Korzybski's, "The word is not the thing.", which denotes that the map is not the territory. Awareness still has to come back on itself that there is no 'I' driving this body mind.
Later that day I worked on that dream and a previous dream. I brought up the dream in my mind, saw myself as a light, then put the light in the drivers seat and then associated into the light.
In the previous dream I am having a good time with an old friend, Rebecca. She climbs on top of a building... I hesitate because I am scared of the height. Then the image of her and building moves further away. Something which often happens in my dreams. So now I see myself as a light at the bottom of the building. I see myself as the light move up the ladder to the roof. I then see myself as the light at the bottom of the ladder, associate into the light and then climb the ladder to the roof. I an now standing on top of the building with my friends. I feel exhilarated - the other people are laughing and expressing joy.
Last night I shifted the location of my internal dialogue to a position above my head and it gave me the feeling that I am God.
The next night I get into bed and I felt like the internal dialogue that I have, which is very quiet, was going to disappear once and for all. I feel a little worried that it might totally disappear and will not be able to think. I have had this concern before.
Currently during the day time I have internal dialogue but it is almost out of conscious awareness. Like I can hardly hear it. And as soon as I bring my awareness to it, or to anything for that matter it disappears.
When I bring my awareness to a location above my head I feel like I am God. It is puzzling me.
Last night I spent the evening with some friends. At one point they switched on the TV to watch the film, Home Alone 2. I found it quite violent. The boy hit one of the men in the head with a brick - repeatedly, shot one of them in the backside and the face with a nail gun, dropped a bag of cement on his head, set fire to the other one, and so on. The film maker had taken violent acts and presented it in a comic book fashion for children, but it made me feel very uneasy.
Later that night I found it difficult to go to sleep. It was strange because I had no internal dialogue but there was some imagery from the film playing in my mind. So I spent five minutes turning all the images to black and white, and then I went to sleep but I had strange dreams, and the film had disturbed my meditativeness.
On recollection, the only way to enjoy the film would be to bypass your critical faculties and enter a trance... and then the suggestions by the film maker would seem to be about developing an incongruence between behaviour and emotional state.
After practising the mind director, meditation and sleep procedures I am now able to recognise silence. I now wait for it to occur naturally. Remain alert. When silence presents itself I associate into it and jump into the silence. Whereas before the silence was just a no-mind state, now there is a sense of bliss that sometimes comes into fill the space. Meditation has a different quality now. Less effort in witnessing. More Zen like – just sitting.
Whether sitting in meditation or waiting to go to sleep, now I wait for the silence and then enter into it. If I wake up in the night I repeat the process. I had a dream last night. I went around telling people that we were in fact dreaming; that we needed to be conscious that we were dreaming. Not that we should wake up but that we should be conscious of the fact that we were in a dream., and that the consciousness needed to become aware of itself. Then I floated above the group of people to a height of some ten to twenty feet, horizontally, looking face down on them, then I woke up and wrote these notes.
In one part of the dream I found a clear sticky label. I peeled if off a mirror and then stuck it back on the mirror with the intention that when I woke up it would remind me that I had been there before.
Dreaming last night. I am in a school yard at night. I find a key on the ground to which is attached a number of vignettes - slices of images of paintings and of the world. The vignettes are like pieces of paper in a diamond shape about five inches long by two inches wide. I decide to wait in the school grounds until morning so that I can hand in the key.
There is also a number of square pieces of paper. I open one of them. It bares similarity to the Wealth Dynamics profile square. Each quadrant is labeled with short descriptions. There are a range of colours on the perimeter, leading in towards the centre where everything meets in blackness and disappears. It is labeled, 'the void'.
I get into bed, ready for sleep. My intention is to enter into sleep consciously. I sense a river of consciousness so I step into the river.
I am dreaming. In the dream I realise that I have been returning to my place of employment at the University of WA, where I worked from 1972 to 1984. That is, I return to that place in my dream about once a week, once a month. I now realise that I have been doing that during a dream, not in reality. In the dream state I had always thought that the visits back to UWA were real.
I am somewhere outside at night. I am dressed like a derelict. I know that I am dreaming but I feel lost. I am in large building which is dark and stuffed with junk in boxes. I search through the boxes until I find something that I recognise (see earlier dream about taking an object into the dream). I find something which is like a time piece (like a square watch). I clean off the dirt and put it in my pocket. Then I see that a large door at the back of the building has opened onto a landscape. I exit the building from the other side onto a dark street. It feels like an eternity has passed already.
I wander the streets, gaining confidence in the awareness that I know that I am dreaming. Then night passes into day. Everything is much more brighter and colourfuI. I find myself on the edge of a lake. I make my way across the lake to a shopping precinct on the other side. There are a lot of people. They all seem to be much better dressed than I am. I am looking for something. I start to make my way along a corridor when I realise that I need to go back and put my feet in front of a device, that does something like clean them. It seems to be a type of ritual. Then I walk down the corridor and find myself in a place like a cafe. I go upstairs and see there is a tarot reader down below. I go down to visit the tarot reader to ask about all these people who are asleep. But as soon as I arrive at his table he moves to one side and another man is about to take his place then walks away. So I talk to the first man. I ask him, how all these people can spend so much time in sleep? Soon after I woke up. It was a very long dream.
The night before I had discussions with my friend Vince about the amount of time people waste in front of a television set or some such dumbing down device. How the scientist focuses in on a small topic and becomes oblivious to the interrelationships between their area of interest and everything else that is happening in the world. In a way the scientific mind matches a definition of schizophrenia given by Richard Bandler - that is having a small model of the world, and being totally involved in it.
The night before this dream I watched the Bourne Supremacy film, a story about Jason Bourne who has amnesia for a being a CIA Operative.
The dream: I am standing on an open grassed area backed by a few trees, facing up a gently slope. There is a big black building to my left. Nazi’s from the building have ordered me to whip everyone in sight. So I take a whip and whip everyone and everything in the area. As I move to the front grassed area I move across to the left but then find that I can not follow the orders. There is a feeling of love on this side. It is also bigger than the right side. I say hello to an attractive woman. I move down the slope towards the ocean where more people are sitting in groups and playing. As I move across in front of the ocean towards the other side, I come close to the building on the left which houses the Nazi’s. To the right there are massive steel doors which block the ocean.
This seems to be a metaphor for the hemispheres of the brain. One side just follows orders, the other side takes in a bigger picture and has heart. The building in the centre which houses the Nazi’s may represent the primitive lizard brain or an aspect of the left brain? The steel doors that block the ocean may represent the blocking of access to the ocean of consciousness, and or the left hemisphere blocking access to the right hemisphere. It may represent the corpus callosum, the division between the left and right hemispheres.
Dreaming. A deep crystal clear blue ocean. In my vision there is just the ocean in front of me. It is like I am on the surface but partially submerged in the ocean. I am fishing. Something tugs on the line, two or three times. It is a strong tug and it threatens to pull me deeper. I am scared.
It is about 7:30am. I can hear someone out on the street. Someone comes through the front gate. I recognise the sounds of the lawn mower contractors. There are footsteps, the sounds of a mower being wheeled along the path, and then the mower starts up. A few minutes later my alarm goes off and I wake up, and then I realise that in fact I had been fast asleep - yet I had been fully conscious of the activity outside my bedroom window.
The previous morning I experienced something which I can not put into words. Something like consciousness being totally separate from the content of my experience.
I am aware that I am asleep and that I am stretching my legs in the bed and rolling from side to side. I can feel the bed clothes against my body and I am aware of my hands rearranging the bedclothes as I roll over. I am aware that it must be early morning because there is light on my eyelids and I can hear familiar noises outside. I don't want to wake up; i want to go deeper asleep so I say to myself, "Go deeper and deeper, deeper and deeper." This experience is different to others that I had some years ago where I witnessed the body moving of its own accord; here I am actually consciously moving the body while asleep.
There is a period of dreaming. In one dream there is a landscape in front with an ocean in the background which extends all the way to the horizon. My perspective on it is from a higher angle than normal, something like an artist might paint, it is like the ocean is too high in the sky. A friend, Vince, is in a dark building. I call out to him to come and watch a surfer who has taken off at a point break to the left and is rapidly surfing miles across the horizon to the right. I am explaining to Vince that what we are seeing is not real because in reality the surfer would not move so fast across the horizon. There is some sort of parallax error. Then the alarm clock goes off and I wake up.
The ocean usually symbolises for me the ocean of consciousness. In this dream it is like a surfer is surfing the ocean of consciousness. Vince comes out of the darkness into the light. There is also an awareness that the dreamscape is not real.
Tomorrow night I am going to try and do the Bliss Technique and Mind Director Techniques on the dreams. That is I want to be able to disappear the dream images and then experience whatever is left. Also I want to see if I can dissociate from the experience, that is rather than experiencing the dream from the perspective of my own eyes, I want to be able to step back so that I can see myself in the dream.
Dream. Visiting old Sannyasin friends. Found old paintings that I had done of Osho My friends were all a bit decrepit and a bit whacky. Their focus was not on the body and material possessions but on awareness. I tuned in deeper to their energy and felt my body moving to the right hemisphere. There was silence.
A Sannyasin makes contact with me by email to let me know she lives in my area. That night I have a dream. Beautiful music. Holding a tiny book in my fingers. Thinking that I could publish something like this. Then holding a book that was somewhat larger, but still small. I read some of the pages then realised that it was not making sense and that it must be a dream. Examined the book - about one hundred pages. Most of the pages were of bibliography, references and that sort of thing. Felt that I could publish something this size.
Beautiful music continued to play. I felt a fire awaken in my heart, a thirst to know the truth. There was ecstatic dancing. Osho sitting with closed eyes in deep meditation. The realisation that I can not escape now. He has found me.
I had just had a massage. I walked into the foyer where a woman was sitting and I looked at her in the habitual way in which I sometimes wonder what another person may be thinking of me. It is a feeling of self consciousness or recognition that another person is human and therefore they can be aware of me. For a moment in time I disconnected from her. She no longer existed for me as someone who could judge me or touch me emotionally. I felt that I did not have to react within my mind and heart at seeing her, that I could remain absolutely unchanged whether she was there or not, whether she looked at me or not, whether she spoke to me or not. The self consciousness disappeared totally for a moment. I felt freed from the cycle of birth and death, a term that I never use.
I dreamed that I was driving a heavy vehicle down a long winding mountain road. I could feel that the vehicle was going to get out of control and there would be a serious accident. Then the awareness came in that I was dreaming and that the unconscious was trying to work something out, and that in reality I could not get injured. So I worked with the dream to slow the speed of the vehicle and gain better control by using the low gears.
My answer: It would depend upon who the person is and the context in which they made the statement and what their concept of God is.
How do they do they experience the relationship? It implies separation. I need more information about this person. The answer is contextual. Everyone talks to them self, some talk to God in the same way. No harm in that. Some try and elevate their status by claiming a special relationship with God. These people are most definitely deluded.
Some experience Godliness, some know God, some are one with God, for some the separation between them self and God disappears such that the concept of God drops from their language and their mind, and their is amusement at how others use the term.
If we accept the presupposition that the Universe has a consciousness and that it is self realised then we are just one of the many forms that consciousness expresses itself. We are consciousness, we are not the body, mind or emotion. It is a mistake to identify with the form. We are the creator as much as the creation. Only the identification with the mind can prevent us from realising that we are our own creation. It is like we forget who we really are. We are already it. We are what we strive for. We are the consciousness hence we have always been here and always will be here.
Consciousness does not reside within the body. The body resides within consciousness. The body/mind is just a speck in the midst of a universal consciousness.
On the use of hypnosis and deception in the field of spirituality and religion, using Sathya Sai Baba as an example. Read the article.
An analysis of the Fleming metaphor. Why is fiction more appealing than fact? Read the article.
Imagine that you come into the world with no senses. If you did you would have no way to sense your body or the world. Now bring in a kinaesthetic sense. You can feel your body, it has substance. You can feel other things but at first you would not be able to distinguish the difference between self and other. As you sense kinaesthetically you build a map of the world. Thereafter you use the map to navigate the world. The more accurate the map the more successful you are in navigating the world.
Bring in an auditory sense. Sound waves travel through space and are received by the ears and interpreted by the brain. You hear sound. You learn to distinguish between different types of sounds and location. You learn that when you touch an object that there is an associated sound. Sound also lets you know that something may also exist physically in the world. Sound may also give you an impression of the form of the physical object.
Bring in the visual sense. Light beams reflect off an object and are received by the retina of the eye where it is converted into an electrical signal that travels to the visual cortex where it is interpreted. Combined with kinaesthetic and auditory information your map of the world is greatly enhanced. You can now see the objects that you touch. You can also hear sounds that come from that object. Finally bring in an olfactory and gustatory sense.
We don’t operate on the world directly but do so via a map created with the help of our five senses. As Korzybski said, “The map is not the territory.” The map is just an internal representation of the world. The map may or may not be accurate. It may or may not work for us. To achieve a different outcome we may need to update our map.
The night before this dream I had watched a Michael Hall NLP training DVD. The trainers were comparing their experiences of the worst clients they had ever had. I had also been fatigued in the recent weeks. When I woke up from this dream I had the feeling that I had visited hell. The memory is vague.
The dreamscape was underground with roughly hewn rock walls and wooden rafters. It was dark. There were a series of events which subsequently got worse. I can’t remember the details. Nearly everyone had black features like a Negro. (One of the trainers in the training DVD is an African American.) At one point there was one man who was more Hispanic in features than the others and who was very threatening. There was no way to gain rapport with him. (Same as in the story told by the trainers.) In the dream I was constantly escaping from dangerous people and I was exhausted. At one point I found myself secreted in a crevice in a rock wall, terrified and exhausted. (I observed this as an observer not from the perspective of my own eyes.) I moved away a protective covering and saw myself there. A highly detailed six inch wooden figurine with negroid features. Absolutely beautiful. I picked up the figurine of myself and treasured it.
I have had a recurring dream ever since I left my job at the University of WA back in 1984. In the dream I would be at work carrying out some activity. Often I would be going through the cupboards making decisions on what to throw out. In addition I usually kept away from other staff members. Overtime the staff changed such that I did not recognise the new people. Also I would be aware that I had not been at work for a period of time but hoped that no one would notice. I would turn up for work on say a Tuesday, go to my darkroom or up to the laboratory and look around and do a few tasks. In the back of my mind was the thought that the CEO might be wondering where I was.
On this occasion I am in my lab and there are a crowd of students gathered in the lab looking into the classroom. I ask them what they are doing in the lab as they are meant to be in the classroom. I don't recognise most of the staff. I call out to a few of them but they do not respond. I go downstairs and find Steve, one of the lab technicians from the Zoology Department. He has changed, much older and his face has filled out. We have a chat. I wander around a bit, i can hear people playing table tennis down the corridor. In the distance I can see my friend Ricky.
The thought in the front of my mind that I want answered is, "Do I need to be here, and am I needed here, can I go now?" I have been coming back to this workplace in my dreams for 28 years, hiding out, hoping that no one would realise that I had not been turning up for work, wondering if the work was getting done, wondering if the pay cheques were still coming in." Now I feel tired of this. I just want to know if I need to be coming in or not. It is like I have been a ghost haunting my old workplace. Now I get the feeling that I can leave.
So I go downstairs and walk across the courtyard which separates either side of the horseshoe shaped three story building. There are hundreds of people, families with children having a picnic, enjoying themselves, playing. I playfully step around them. There is a tiny dog behind me. I pick up a ball and playfully throw it to the dog.
I love the ambiguity of language. In Malaysia there is a newspaper called "Sin Chew Daily Newspaper" And a watchmaker with the business name, "Wong Time Watch Repair". See the images. __ © Author Abby Eagle
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