|Abby Eagle's Diary|
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|OBE's, meditation experiences. Entering into sleep with awareness. I have touched the face of God. Cosmic orgasms|
|A felt presence. Deeksha. Authentic happiness.|
|Osho gives me Deeksha|
|Osho and Buddha. You are God.|
|No Internal Dialogue|
|Going beyond the mind. Dropping beliefs|
|The passage between lives|
|Delving into pain. The brilliance of success. Sleep meditation.|
|Guidelines for how to approach and experience the passage between lives.|
|There is no one there|
|The feeling that I am God. Being conscious in a dream. The river of consciousness.|
|Past lives. Near death experiences. The mind is silent - what next?|
|Awareness showers down|
|Who stands to gain from creating conflict? Be willing to take a risk. War is a play.|
|Heaven and hell.|
|Why did Buddha attain to enlightenment?|
|Stories that inspire and motivate us to action.|
|NLP Coaching Resources|
|Empowering you to empower others.|
|NLP Peace Mapping|
|Application of NLP Model to resolving conflict and creating harmony.|
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I sat in meditation and imagined a vast space over and behind my right shoulder and then over and behind my left shoulder. When I did so I imagined that I could see all sorts of ghosts and shapes in the room who were ready to attack me. I resisted the urge to open my eyes and just watched the feelings in my body. The feeling of fear was intense enough to make the skin crawl and cause the body to shake. By maintaining a state of fascination in the events as they unfolded, and by remaining a witness to the whole process I was able to continue the exercise for an hour. What also helped for me to endure the experience was a feeling that I had had enough of fear ruling my life, and that I wanted to learn how to befriend it.
There must have been a considerable amount of adrenaline produced because the next day I experienced withdrawal symptoms. The experience on the second night was much the same as the first night but on the third night I had an experience that is difficult to describe. It was like I became aware of my consciousness much closer to me. It was as if previously I had been looking in the distance and now I looked at myself just where I was sitting. There was a strong sense of a living intelligence, of an aware presence. I knew that it was not something separate to me but was me. At first I was scared but as I continued to witness it I slowly became more comfortable. Slowly the fear was replaced by an amazing feeling that is hard to describe. Over the following days and weeks the presence lost its intensity but I still have an awareness of it. Learn more about the Vastness Meditation.
Last night I did gibberish and laughter meditation with friends in Crabbes Creek. After the gibberish and laughter we sat silently in meditation. I imagined I was sitting in a lake of golden liquid. I scooped the golden liquid into a bowl and poured it over my head. Then I imagined a stream of golden liquid pouring down upon me from above. This then turned into an image of sitting under a small water fall. The image continued to transform until I felt that I was 500 feet high and sitting under the Niagara Falls. A massive volume of golden liquid pouring over my body. The image of myself turned into a huge golden Buddha. Then I felt the energy flow in my body change direction so I stopped the visualisation of the golden liquid pouring down upon me. I felt the energy begin moving up from the base chakra and up through my body and out the top of my head. As I let go my meditation deepened. When the bell was rung to end our meditation I had great difficulty moving. Each time I made an effort to come out I ended up dropping deeper down inside myself. I could hear the people around me talking but I felt no involvement with them and very little reaction to anything that they said or did. But I was aware that I needed to come out so that I could drive my friends home. With difficulty I brought myself out.
Something similar happens when I am doing a guided meditation with my class. I have to hold myself back from dropping deeper inside of myself. Sometimes I let go and I forget what I am supposed to be saying to the group so I have to open my eyes to read the notes on my session plans.
I have often wondered about the natural flow of energy through the body. Some Chi Kung's and meditation techniques work on moving the energy down while others work on moving it upwards. If you have any comments on the different directions that energy moves through the body then feel free to email me. Abby Eagle
Last night in my meditation I was trying to free up my energy. Then I went to bed and to sleep and the meditation continued into a dream with my father. We went into a dark room where there was a baby and another person lying on a bed. I went closer to have a look at the baby. It was difficult to see because of the darkness. Around the area of my forehead an image of a battery operated torch formed. Then a brilliant white light formed against a black background at the area of the third eye. It was as bright as a piece of magnesium ribbon burning and it radiated light around itself. Even though the light was pure white there was a sense of blueness about it. The light was intensely bright yet soft, it was pure and it was beautiful. The light lasted for about five seconds before it woke me up. I tried to re access the state from my waking state but with only limited success
Just before dropping off to asleep last night an image formed of something that looked like a single sperm cell reaching the wall of something. Intense sexual desire arose in the body. The following notes arose from that experience:
Sperm have a need to escape the body rather than die before being released. They target a woman's vagina. A man's behaviour is largely driven by the desire of the sperm to find an ovum. A woman is driven by the desire of her womb and ovaries so she has to make herself receptive to a man. The physical body is just a house/vehicle for the sperm/ovaries. The body has a strong survival need to remain healthy so that it can support the desire of the sperm / ovaries. My understanding is that these are the basics of life.
The neuropeptides addict us and bind us to our behaviours. Sometimes we may watch our behaviours with dismay - almost helpless in our ability to control them. But who is the witnessing consciousness?
You are not the sperm / ovaries. You are not the sexual desire. You are more than the body. Who is the awareness?
Understanding slowly frees us from the shackles of the sex energy. We just learn to go with the flow and enjoy whatever happens. As understanding develops we become more aware of higher levels of consciousness. Understanding is the key to personal evolution. How to create the space so that understanding happens is the real secret. You can learn the specifics of that in the Bliss Technique, which you can find in the book How to Meditate and Find Peace of Mind.
A few days before I had been playing with a new meditation exercise which I call The Angel of Love. The exercise stimulates, as far as I understand it, the left amygdala. It gives you a felt presence of love.
So last night we did the Chakra Dyana (meditation). I have got quite good at visualising golden liquid so my energy was quite high. Then we did the invocation before receiving Deeksha. While I was waiting for Deeksha and during it I played with the Angel of Love technique.
I received two Deekshas and I was so content, (even before receiving the first one) that there was little desire for them when they happened. It was a nice space.
Then Netra put his hands on my head to give me his Deeksha. There was a lot of energy on his fingers - they felt red hot. There was a sharp electric type energy feeling on my scalp. It had a serrated shape and made me think that it represented the join between the plates of the skull.
In my heart and my mind centres I felt like I was going to have an orgasm. It felt like my sense of 'I' was dying. Then I remembered Osho talking about the ultimate orgasm with existence. So I said to myself, "Die into the ultimate orgasm, die totally." (Something like that.)
Something happened in my heart. The orgasm completed something. A shout erupted from my mouth. A feeling of bliss arose in my mind and body. The same thing happened again - another shout - more bliss. Netra laughed and removed his hands. I wonder if longer Deeksha makes any difference? It would be so nice to have the Deeksha Giver leave his/her hands on the head for half an hour or so.
__ © Author Abby Eagle
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