Why can't I be myself? - Why do I seem to get into trouble when I am just myself? How to be authentic? How to be true to myself? How to get enlightened?
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You can't be anyone but yourself, so relax and enjoy...

 

Stop striving to be like someone else and just be yourself.

Someone once asked Osho: "Why am I so scared to be myself?" His response was very interesting:

"It is as if society has a strategy to condemn you for who you are but they then encourage you to be like someone else."

Let me explain.

The conditioning comes mainly from our parents, teachers and religious instructors. In subtle and not so subtle ways we are told that our natural energy and natural instincts are wrong. For example a child in school may look upwards to the ceiling so that she can think in pictures. The teacher thinks that the child is daydreaming and tells her sternly: "You won't find the answer up there, look down at your desk." From then on the child may be learning disabled, unless she can learn to visualise looking downwards. Another child may gaze out the window. In NLP terms she may be thinking in words, or she may be entering a trance state to access information from her unconscious mind. But to the teacher she is day dreaming. Let's say that every time she day dreams in the classroom she is reprimanded in a harsh tonality. When she grows up she may then find it difficult to relax. Conditioning from the parents comes in a similar manner.

Parents may make the child eat when she is not hungry, go to bed when she is not tired, enroll in a course of study in which she is not interested and so on. Religious instructors may tell the child that she is born in sin, that women are the doorway to hell, that sex outside of marriage is bad and so on.

I am sure that you can think of hundreds of examples where society tells the child and the adult that it is not okay to be yourself. The child then learns to associate negative feelings with her natural energy, and of course as soon as she tries to follow her natural energy she feels guilty. She also becomes confused as to why being herself feels wrong.

The other side of conditioning is that society offers us a solution which is designed to lead us further away from ourselves. They tell the child to aspire to be like someone else. "Choose a role model such as a sports star and work hard to be like that person." Religious instructors tell the child to be like Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mahavira and so on. Of course it is absolutely impossible to be like someone else. You can only be yourself. But if you look at some personal growth books, they are also intent on helping you aspire to be someone else. They tell the adult to set goals, "set a goal for the new you", "just set a goal for the person you want to be". But if you can't be in your essential energy then how do you know what you want from life? Then it will be like society setting goals for you. And sadly many people desire exactly what society tells them is right. For example a new car, house, holiday, TV, etc. But when attained, these goals often leave the adult just as dissatisfied and empty as before.

The only way to set goals that bring fulfillment is to first get an idea of who you are.

Let me explain.

Every society needs to condition the child to fit into society. So we all grow up with limiting beliefs. But once you are an adult you no longer need your conditioning - it is time to free yourself. Let me give you some analogies. Once you can ride a push-bike you no longer need the training wheels. Once you can drive a car you no longer need to think about how to drive the car. Once you can walk it just happens. There is no need to use the mind to think about it. In fact thinking about how to drive a car while you are driving would make you tense. You also don't even need the belief that you can drive a car. Beliefs are only useful where there is doubt.

As an adult it is time to let go the conditioning and the limiting beliefs. One does not even need to replace the limiting beliefs with ones that support you. All you need to do is to strip away the conditioning and allow your essential energy to lead you through life. As you follow your essential energy goals actually reveal themselves to you our of your creativity, and just working towards these goals will bring you immense satisfaction and joy. One does not even have to attain them because you are now allowing life to express itself through you, and that brings fulfillment in itself.

So where to start?

My suggestion is to clear all negative emotions from your life using NLP and make meditation part of your lifestyle. __ © Author Abby Eagle

 

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