|Abby Eagle's Diary|
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|OBE's, meditation experiences. Entering into sleep with awareness. I have touched the face of God. Cosmic orgasms|
|A felt presence. Deeksha. Authentic happiness.|
|Osho gives me Deeksha|
|Osho and Buddha. You are God.|
|No Internal Dialogue|
|Going beyond the mind. Dropping beliefs|
|The passage between lives|
|Delving into pain. The brilliance of success. Sleep meditation.|
|Guidelines for how to approach and experience the passage between lives.|
|There is no one there|
|The feeling that I am God. Being conscious in a dream. The river of consciousness.|
|Past lives. Near death experiences. The mind is silent - what next?|
|Awareness showers down|
|Who stands to gain from creating conflict? Be willing to take a risk. War is a play.|
|Heaven and hell.|
|Why did Buddha attain to enlightenment?|
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Dreaming last night. Street scene in conversation with some homeless people. I was near total exhaustion. Struggling to walk, though not the difficulty in moving in a dream that comes from the the motor section of the brain being disabled so as to stop the sleeper from moving their body too much in sleep and hurting themselves. This difficulty in moving was related to the chronic fatigue and now chronic exhaustion that I have experienced for the last few years.
At one point I am walking up a hill, the sun is shining and it begins to rain. The drops are very cold. I look up and have the realisation that I am fast asleep dreaming and that the rain is somehow raining down from a higher level of consciousness and that all will be okay.
When I woke from the dream I was reminded of the science fiction film Inception in which a group of people connected themselves to a machine so as to explore layers of mind. As they entered into deeper layers of mind, events that occurred at higher levels filtered down in a symbolic fashion. There was also a distortion of time in that a year at the deepest level of mind occurred in a few seconds of clock time. __ © Author Abby Eagle
Recently I had watched films about conflict and genocide in Bosnia and Rwanda. I wondered how the situation could arise that the ethnic groups could go to war against each other. Then I thought of genocide in Stalin's Russia, Hitler's Germany and Pol Pot's Burma. I wondered about who created the division in society and who stood to gain from the conflict thus created.
I woke up last night thinking of this topic then my mind turned to the topic of vaccination and how unvaccinated families are marginalised by the school system. Then I had an 'ah ha' experience. I thought about how the medical industry insist that all children have to get vaccinated, and how the unvaccinated children are marginalised and treated as if they are a threat to the vaccinated children. And how the parents who don't want their children to be vaccinated have to go through a formal procedure and register their children with a regulatory body. And how nurses and doctors treat those parents who don't follow the politically correct procedures with arrogance and disdain. And how school nurses can forcibly vaccinate children against the wishes of their parents. I wondered who stood to gain from the conflict thus created? I wondered who created the system?
Could it be the same people who created the division in Russia, Germany, Burma, Bosnia and Rwanda? Who would benefit from creating conflict in the world? Then I was reminded of the Jesuit oath where Jesuits take an oath to create division within every level of society in every country in the world.
The answer is to create awareness of how division is created in society, and how to identify who stands to benefit from the division. Then chunk up to a higher frame of mind, step back, put all the information out on the table, and work as a team towards achieving a well formed outcome.
This note continues on from the previous one ("Who stands to gain from creating division within society.")
I went to sleep and had an intense dream. The setting was at night somewhere near an ocean. The sky was black but everything else was in vivid colour. Towards the end of the dream I am walking along a pathway, an ocean is on the right. The sky is black and then thousands upon thousands of stars shower upon me. The stars are like tiny points of light. They rain down upon me. I can see the stars falling around me and I can feel them landing upon my skin. It is like heaven has opened up for me. It feels incredibly beautiful, loving and peaceful.
A group of children run towards me along the pathway. I think they are school children. A wide range of ages but some of them are adults. They are flanked by a school teacher. As they approach I can see that they look serious and tense. I encourage them to look up and share my experience but their eyes remain fixed upon the ground.
Sometime later the 7.00am alarm clock woke me up. I switched it off but time had disappeared for me. I just lay there, even though I needed to get up to go to the markets, the desire, the need to go shopping was not there. Time had disappeared, no where to go, nothing to do, this moment was perfect. The only reason that I got out of bed thirty minutes later was because of the necessity to buy food from the weekly market stall.
The last few days there has been a progression of pain inside my left ear. Yesterday afternoon the pain became quite severe - it hurt too much to eat dinner so I lay down to see what I could do.
The pain was quite big (about 5 inches) so I imagined the pain as being smaller and fitting inside the inner ear (about 1/4 inch). I tried changing the colour from black and red to green and blue but nothing much happened so then I realised that I needed to release whatever was inside the ear causing the pressure. So I imagined sticking a syringe into the ear to suck out the gunge. At first I saw the syringe going into the side then realised I needed to have the syringe go up from underneath so that it could be aligned with the eustachian tube.
I visualised the syringe as vividly as I could. As I saw it prick the inner ear, it hurt. Then when I went to suck out the gunge, the gunge was so thick that I could only suck out a small amount. So then I imagined squirting in some liquid to dissolve the gunge and then suck it out. Gluggy stuff came out - it looked horrible. I repeated this process for about 10-20 minutes. I could feel a change inside the ear, at one point I had to get up to spit phlegm. My nasal passages also became a little congested.
The pain ameliorated enough for me to eat some dinner. During the night the pain abated but remained to about 10% of its original intensity.
When I was in Malaysia last year in the Damansara area I got a taxi back to my hotel but the driver missed a turning and we had to drive in the back way. This brought us to an intersection which had a medium strip down the road. The shortest way back to my hotel was straight across the road which meant that I would have to walk 250 metres, and being very tired at the time and needing to visit the toilet I wanted to avoid that. Another option was to turn left and then drive about one km around the block so that we could stop right in front of the hotel door. But this would take about ten minutes. Another option was to turn right and go the wrong way against the traffic in front of a Police Station, and then do a quick turn back across the road into a lane way which would take me just behind the hotel. As we considered these options, the taxi driver spontaneously took the third option. As he did so he laughed and said, "And in front of a Police Station too." As we drove into the lane way traffic came off the highway into the road. So it was just that for a moment an opportunity presented itself. It involved a risk and we needed to take immediate action.
So we have three options. The first may be the shortest but could take the most energy, effort, resources and money. The second is the steady but long path. The third is the opportunity that presents itself - there is not much time to think about it - we just have to take that risk and act.
Over the last few evenings I watched the film, "5 Days of War", a drama about the war between Russia and Georgia. It tells the story from the eyes of an American journalist, his cameraman and a Georgian woman. The film is about 2 hours 40 minutes.
Somewhere around the 2 hour mark I understood the Bhagavad Gita. In this scripture many pages are devoted to a conversation that a despondent Prince Arjuna has with his charioteer Krishna. He helps Arjuna to understand that in some respect war is a play.
In the film Georgia I could clearly see how war has been an ongoing phenomena for thousands of years. Nothing much has changed, only the technology. The only way to understand war is to treat it as a play. Not as a game but as a play. For example, light shadows can play across a wall.
So after a couple of hours of watching soldiers murder civilians, destroy villages, bomb buildings, rape and pillage, and drive people from their homes there comes a point where the journalist is about to be executed by a Cossack Captain. The Captain acknowledges that the journalist has no fear of death by reaching out and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
However by good fortune (for the journalist) a young Russian soldier shoots the Captain, saving the journalist's life. A few minutes later he rejoins the Georgian woman who had believed him to be dead. As they kiss in the middle of the battlefield the camera pans out to a long shot. At this point I understood clearly the Bhagavad Gita. A kiss in the middle of the battlefield; love at the centre of war; silence at the centre of the cyclone, the mind on the periphery and silence at the centre. __ © Author Abby Eagle
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